Blind Ambition

I see you child, rushing
And pushing and shoving
And climbing their ladler
Accomplishing nothing.
Never once stopping
To check your direction,
You simply push forward
With careless aggression.
Your collar is starched
And your tie perfect, straight,
Following plans that
Your puppeteers make.
And if ever a stray thought
Should enter your mind
You bow your head, chastised
Then fall back in line.
Are you happy with your hedge fund
And your mansion in the hills?
If you were really so happy, friend
You wouldn't need those pills.
Pills to make you sleep,
More pills to help you wake,
Pills to make you smile;
A new pill for every ache.
That is not a life, my son,
No matter what they've told you.
Leave the box they put you in
For you have let them mold you.
Slow your feet,
Widen your gaze,
Step off the path,
Leave the maze.
You might never make your millions
But you could make so much more
If you'd ever leave the rat race,
Look out, and explore.

It Was Just Right There

It's a switch
In a box
In a room
That's been locked
For so long
You forgot it exists.
It's a piece
Of the jigsaw
You lost in your youth
And if you but found it
You'd know the whole truth.
It's a mem'ry,
A dream
Once so real that it seems
Like you must have been
Right here before.
It's a smell you can't place
It's a feast you can't taste
It's the word on the tip of your tongue.
It's the name you forgot
To the face you did not
It's the water you wrang from the sponge.
It's a little bit funny
A little bit sad
Yours relieved when it's over
But not really glad
It's the smile you're fakin'
As your pictures get taken
So no one will realize you're sad.
It's a book
In a safe
In the vault
Of a bank
That burned down
On the wrong side of town.
It's just one more thing
Being brought in the ring
By a car full of rodeo clowns.
It's a day in the life
Of your enemy's wife
And you realize he's human as well.
It's a friendly reminder,
Commonality finder,
An epiphany kept to yourself.
The things which remind us
How actions define us
But the consequence won't involve hell.
It's the greed that consumes you
For things you don't need to
Live happ'ly
But sometimes they help.
So you switch off the box
In the room you keep locked
And you try to forget it exists.

For Lack of a Unified Theory

I just want to go so fast
my future turns into my past
with happiness too good to last;
A second try, another chance
to live again the happenstance.

Writing desks and ravens
and a piping cup of tea.
Memorize my future
like it was my history.
As we fly like bats and twinkling stars
we'll spot the tea tray out past Mars.

Flying freely, without cause
but we'll obey theoretical laws
of the inter-stellar road we're on:
signal, merge right, then straight 'till dawn.
With happy thoughts and meteor dust
we'll never get old and never grow up.

Let seagulls fly us to foreign shores
on spider's thread through space we'll soar
down wormholes in the seams of time;
learn secrets of our life, divine.
And all because of magic bugs
in the software used by ancient gods.

But no matter how fast of far we fly,
we can't outrun the questions "why?"
and every answer we conceive
is no better than 14 times 3.

Connected

I watch you, stoic, standing tall,
still and proud and perched to fall.
Eyes slowly searching into mine
in an instant, connected, sharing time.
Each knowing thoughts deep in the other
bound by space and Earth, the mother.
Silent sisters speak in thought
words unmarred by dialogued plot.
Beautifully simple as She intended
and though you've flown, we're still connected.

Let Me Live Without You

I thought it was over,
I thought it was fine
then you waltz so sweetly
back into my life.
And I fall apart
once again for the night.
I'll cry as I sleep
'til the morning brings light.
Are you proud of yourself
of the pain you have caused?
For you did it again
without even a thought.
So I beg you
with every iota of strength
to walk away from me
and spare me the pain.
Just let it be over
and let me be fine.
Let me forget you
and let me have time.

To a dear friend...

Falling
and failing
arms tired,
flailing.
I see you
slow dying;
eyes empty,
lying.
My hand is extended
if only you'd take it
but you reach for my heart
wanting only to break it.
And if I say nothing
your pain is my burden,
but if I speak open
I would lose you for certain.
So it's lose you to me
or lose you to the world;
my selfish heart aches
for what has to be done.
You're lost
spinning,
spiraling,
deflating your sails.
We all try to help you
but all of us fail.
So tell me dear friend
what it is that you see
when you chance your reflection
do you recognize she?
Or are you a stranger
even unto yourself;
a shade of person
now hollow, a shell.
Please don't let me lose you.
Please don't leave me lonely.
Please don't keep on like this.
Please don't turn from me slowly.
My every hope and my every prayer
is for you to remain whole and happy and here.

If I Could Hate You

I wish I could hurt you
or hate you or fuck you
but I can do nothing
except but to love you.
I wish I could tell you
could see you, could say
what I have been thinking
since that dreaded day.
I wish i could hit you
or curse you or fight you
but all that I want
is to just do right by you.
I wish I could hold you
mine again for one day
and play make believe
make believe you would stay.
But all of my wishes
fall silent in vain
for lover you shall never
be mine again.

The Timeless Top

It's not that time is ending
more like it's standing still
while all the earth is spinning
and you question what is real.
Spinning like a top
on a polished marble floor
the floor stays solid under foot
as the top spins round some more.
Quietly and with great power
moving forward in that hour,
the hour of her greatest need
she watched the world fade out of green.
Leaves now golden, red, then brown
littered on the marble ground.
Ever spinning into space;
Ever tumbling in disgrace;
Ever falling from this base;
Ever circling out of place.

A Perfect Snow --for Slink

The snow falls soft through beams of light,
all silent on this perfect night
and all the world is dead in dream;
no noise, no wind, no thought, no scream,
just beauty in the purest way
unmarred by all events of day.
And two sets of footprints tread the walk
between them is no need to talk
just to share the peace profound
on crystalized and frozen ground.
Smoke fills the air from buildings distant
two humble souls rendered insignificant.
And in each flake of fallen snow
a world the two can never know.
Blanketing the ground until it thaws
for even it obeys the laws
as one day it will melt away
but now they know is not that day.
So silent it falls to the earth,
when not a single sound is heard.

Forever --if only if only...

Some say forever isn't real--
forever is too long to feel,
and even when you vow the years
forever ends in hate and tears.
But some things really, truly last
they stay until all time has passed
and so forever love I, you,
forever will my heart be true,
forever your name on my heart,
forever is our only start,
forever dreaming in your eyes,
forever comes as no surprise,
forever dancing in the wind,
forever your kiss on my skin,
forever my hand locked in yours,
forever, for always, of that I'm sure.

Dreaming the Dead

Close your eyes and drift away
to see the souls of yesterday:
ghosts of lives all long since gone
haunt the dreams of weak and strong.
Wailing, warning, lessons of age;
sweetly singing words so sage.
Pray not to make the same mistakes
of those the light of life forsakes.
Learning wisdom from the wise
reading life inside dead eyes.
Open your heart, open your mind
to understand all they provide:
So much they have heard and seen,
so much they almost could have been...
And patiently I wait each night
for dreams of ghosts who know the right.

Hope

I've never been so foolish
so stupid and so blind
to think that you would ever
want to change your one-track mind.
But everybody wants to hope;
it stays the feeling you're alone.
We hope that some day, maybe,
or at some point down the line
that this is that and on and on
if stars would just align.
But hope is for the helpless,
I guess I know that now,
and I will never hope again
for I am far too proud.

Love Is --for those who may need a reminder--

Love is Love
the simple fact,
it cannot be defined.
Not legislated,
not dictated
for Love is always right
Sure, you can fight
and bitch and moan
claiming higher law
but judge not
lest yourself be judged
and find you're in the wrong.
Love is patient.
Love is kind.
Love is peace.
Love is blind.
So how could Love
by any stretch
be offensive
in your narrow heads?
Love is Love,
it's all the same
and if you can't see it,
well, that's a shame...

Nailing the Coffin

I always see the ending
right up by the starting line;
except with you, my darling,
no ending was defined.
I could have loved forever
and somewhere I always will,
but today I swallow tears goodbye;
a sorry, painful pill.
I stayed as long as I could stand
but now I'm on my knees.
Pleading with you: let me go;
if you can't love me, let me free...
Loose the painful fetters
which bind your heart to mine;
pray the gaping wound
will heal if given time.
And love, I wish we could be friends
like in the days since past
but never would I move from here
with an ending such as that.
So break it fast
and break it clean.
Cut from my life
at change of scene.
And maybe one day far from now
I'll see you smile and feel the same,
but for today, tomorrow and on
to see you would bring only pain.
For I've never been in love like this;
never saw a future, a life.
Never thought I'd want to be
so badly someone's wife.
But what is done cannot be fixed
no mending, no suture, no back
I'm sorry it must be this way
but our love has fin'ly cracked.
And I'm sure you meant no ill intent,
no harm, no pain, no sadness
but I will never hurt again
the way you hurt me like this.
So goodbye love,
go live your dreams.
May all you want
be as it seems.
And may you find love in another
for I wish you only good.
And maybe I'll find someone else
who can be all you never would.

Your Wretched Life

You take
but don't know how to give.
Alive
but you can't seem to live.
You lie
until the truth is gone.
Sing
with no tune for your song.
You look
and still can't seem to see,
Beauty
inside of anything.
You feel
but only for yourself.
Sitting
stagnant on a shelf.
You hate
because you know love not.
Death
means nothing if the sun is hot.
You kill
and far too easily.
LIfe
is a commodity.
You lost
your soul too long ago
Spinning
violent without control.
And I wish
you would understand
What it means
to be a man.

Untitled as of yet

It's all I ever wanted;
it's all and somehow more.
It's beautiful and perfect,
it's true and strong and pure.
This feeling in my bones,
in my heart and in my head;
this feeling that I know
I'll never get to feel again.
I used to think "the one"
was a fable, was a lie--
only real in fairy tales
to make sweet women cry.
But then I found you,
found my love,
found the substance
dreams are made of.
So never will I want again
to feel another on my skin.
Never will my dreams be dark
for you have opened up my heart.
I love you now
and tomorrow the same
I'll love you until
the world has no name.
Until the sun
is empty space,
until the very
end of days.
And I know you don't feel for me
the way I feel for you
so you'll keep searching, diligent,
to find a love as true.
So go my love
please go and find
whatever it is
you lack inside.
Whatever it is
I could not be,
love her now
instead of me.
I promise I'll be fine;
I know I'll be alright
because my heart has felt
a love for which others pine.
Because all good things shall meet their end
and this, our end has come,
just know I'll look for love no more
for you, you were my one.

Poetic Manifesto

Someone I knew once asked me
what it was that I believed.
"In everything; in nothing"
was the answer I conceived.
I believe in rock and roll,
in the smell right after rain,
in poetry, in music,
that none of us are sane.
I believe in kindness,
in giving what you get;
in Karma, retribution,
in peace and love and sex.
I believe in yin and yang;
in harmony, content.
I believe in blissfulness
when not a dime is spent.
I believe in physics
and that all of us are one,
fighting for our names
underneath the rising sun.
I believe in learning
so much more than being taught.
I believe we're everything
and also that we're naught.
I believe in melodies
which play within our heads,
in what it is that's done
so much more than what is said.
I believe in being
and in being on your own;
in learning how to smile
even when you're all alone.
I believe in highways
and in backwoods country roads,
I believe feet should be bare
with sand between the toes.
There is no good or bad,
only wrong and right:
An infinity of color
instead of black and white.
I believe that childhood
plays part in who we are
but if all you do is blame it,
you won't get very far.
I believe in math, in art,
in birds and grass and trees,
that we all take life for granted,
and there's no such thing as weeds.
And my beliefs might differ
from most people you will meet
but isn't that the beauty
of the things which we believe?

My Wish for Her Monster

She dreamed of what her life would be,
she dreamed of her first love--
And all of that was taken
on a night she still dreams of.
For every time her eyes go quiet
when she lays down to sleep,
the memory haunts her nightmares
and in the dark she screams.
Though, true some hurt will dull in time,
her scars may fade in years--
She has lived to see the day
she lived out her worst fears.

I don't know your name or who you are
but your actions I know clearly;
And if judgment or karma or justice is real
dear boy you will pay dearly.
Few people exist upon whom I wish harm
and on fewer still I wish pain,
but the nightmare she relives each night,
I hope you dream the same.
I hope each time you close your eyes
her face is in your mind;
Look on it well and you will see
the fear in all her lines.
I hope you feel her sorrow
the anguish you have made,
so never can you forgive yourself
for the night of baby's rape.

Satellites and Deer

Standing on the cold concrete
while all the world is fast asleep.
To greet the morning, just the birds;
to hear their song, just a girl.
And a solitary satellite who peaks between the clouds:
just a distant memory, just a woeful sound.
Stars have faded into night;
a lonely planet reflects the light
and everything will be alright
she knows, in time, but not tonight.
Through the haze a doe appears
appeasing all her thoughts and fears
for in the calm is comfort; in the silence, strength--
In the hour the sun will rise and greet the day at length.
It doesn’t quite make sense,
then again, most things are queer...
It’s benign events which make us smile
like satellites and deer.

The Man Unseen

I wish that you could understand,
I wish that you could be the man
I know is living somewhere inside--
can't understand why you make him hide.
Keep him tamed with lock and key
fettered behind reality.
Shed a single tear for him
each night behind my eyes;
I see the man that you could be
and my soul, silent, cries.
You're braver than you comprehend,
you're stronger than you know...
I see your great potential
and I can't let you go.
Maybe when you're older, wise
you'll see yourself but through my eyes;
see the man kept in your head
and live your life as him instead.
And even if it's not with me
please be the man you're meant to be,
for the world would be at such a loss
to never know the you of my thoughts.
Know all I say and all I do
is simply 'cause I care for you
and I will wait for eternity and time
in hopes, that man in you would be mine.
I wish that you could only see
I wish only that you could be
the man inside your own sweet dreams;
the man of your reality...
I know somewhere in your reflection
you see the man you wish you were.
You see as clearly as I see him in you
just as strong, just as sure.
So I pray you find him, I know you will
I haven't a doubt in my mind.
And you shouldn't have to search the world
to find that man inside.